Finding Yourself in a World that Tells YOU Who to Be

By: Ashley Sprinkel

It can be really difficult to know yourself when the world is telling you who to be. There are commercials telling you to be skinny and beautiful. Since the beginning of time, women are told they need to be a mother and men need to be the provider. There are movies and TV shows that suggest how life should be. Graduate from college, get married, and have a baby is the life people are told they need to follow. 

Is this really true? Do we really need to get married and have a baby to have a full life? Could there be another life meant for you that isn’t the norm?

In my experience, I think there is more to life than marriage and a baby for some. 

I have been married and it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I was 21 when I got married. I thought that was what we were supposed to do. After being married for two years, I realized that there had to be more to life. My marriage was draining and depressing. He was unhappy as well. After some issues we had, we decided that we needed to divorce. 

The divorce was horrible for me. I had completely lost myself in the marriage that I had no idea how to live alone or function. I couldn’t work for a week because I was so emotional and upset. I drank to get rid of the feelings. I hit rock bottom which was exactly what I needed. I turned my life around and found my true self. It was a long and tough road. 

After 7 years, I am happy with where I am in my life. I have made so many decisions that gave me self-confidence and self-love. I am not reliant on a man to make me happy. The only person that can give me the love I need is me. 

It is possible that I may get married or have a child in the future. For now, that is not the life for me. I am meant to live my best life on my own. I started a blog and coaching business to help other women and men find their inner superwoman (or superman). When you know who you are deep within you will know what your life is meant for. My main focus is continuing to understand self-love in all ways, big or small, so I can share it with the world. If I were to be married or have a child, at this time in my life, it would take me away from my purpose in life. 

How did I find myself in this crazy world?

First, I made the commitment to love my self unconditionally. This was the easiest part. After I hit rock bottom I never wanted to feel that way again. I cried and screamed that I would never let myself go for the sake of someone else. No matter how good it felt or how amazing that person was, I was a priority for myself. I will always have me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. A man could leave and would leave because they have their own lives as well. 

Then came the hard part. Finding out what loving myself unconditionally looked like. This part is still ongoing, but I understand it on a much deeper level now. I left friends because they were negative or toxic. I took personal development classes and read self-help books. I broke up with my mom for 9 months. I broke off an engagement to move to Costa Rica. And so much more. 

With each decision, my understanding of self-love deepened. I figured out that I love writing, and volunteering. I can handle any situation that I faced with, including being robbed in Chile and having no passport or money. 

You can do it too!

You can find yourself too! We never make mistakes. We only create opportunities for growth. So if you want to leave a marriage or move abroad or even learn to love yourself, it is possible. One small step at a time. I didn’t find myself overnight. It took years of hard work, patience, and self-love. 

First, make the commitment to stay true to yourself. This needs to be a commitment that you will never break no matter how difficult or scary the journey is. Even after 7 years, this commitment is still engrained in me that I can feel in my soul when I am not living up to it. 

Second, love yourself in every way. Learn to listen to your heart and soul. Take a personal development course, follow people who encourage you to be yourself, move abroad, or whatever else your heart guides you to do.  

Be the light you want to see in the world. Have no fear because there are no mistakes only opportunities for growth. Find your true self and live your best life even if that’s not what the world tells you to be.

You can read more on my website. I have tips and tricks on how to live your best life. If you need some inspiration, I have stories that were meant to break me and in reality, they made me whole.

~xo Ashley

Visit to see more of Ashley’s journey